It's time to wrap up this awesome (if I do say so myself) three part Q & A Mini Series. It all began with some insight on being a Fall Bridesmaid for my long time friend Heather. Part two's question came from a Bride-to-be, Kristina, interested in getting her gals a hip and unique Bridesmaid's Gift.
Our third installment is all about Maid of Honors, with a question submitted by a great Long Beach gal Michaela. She is a proud big sister to Janelle and Kristin, two lovely twins. Recently Janelle's boyfriend flew her down to Mexico for a surprise every girl loves...a diamond ring! While Janelle is on her road to matrimony she will have her gorgeous twin and beautiful big sis by her side... as Co-Maids of Honor!
I know with your big happy family, it's the more the merrier and y'all are over the moon for Janelle. Congrats to you for getting a new brother and awesome reason to celebrate! With two ladies leading the bridesmaid charge it can be easier and more budget friendly, but a bit more communication is needed. I suggest you two sit down together and divide up the list of duties before anything actually gets rolling.
Below I have mapped out what I feel as a Wedding Planner (and former bridesmaid) are the top eight duties of a MOH and how I suggest splitting them. For divisional purposes I have color coded the tasks.
Lilac = Maid of Honor Kristin Sky Blue = Maid of Honor Michaela Flamingo Pink = Together
1. MAKE A PHONE TREE
Create a list containing each maid's full name, snail mail address, phone number and email address. Input all data into a spreadsheet and email out a copy to everyone in the bridal party. It's so convenient for everyone to already have each others information. This list will come in handy for dividing party planning tasks, setting up car pooling or communicating last minute plan changes.
2. WEDDING DRESS SHOPPING
This is arguably one of the most important and exciting moments of the bride's planning process. She will be looking for the response you both give, so f there is any way possible you should both be there.
Call ahead the day before to confirm appointment time and set up an after shopping lunch.
Bring Champagne and have a snack in your purse (like almonds) in case she gets hungry.
3. HOSTING THE BRIDAL SHOWER
Take charge of choosing location, time, theme and all other planning details. Once the bones of the event are set in place, include the other bridesmaids. Request each one helps with a task, such as baking cupcakes, making appetizers, creating centerpieces or organizing games.
4. THROWING A BACHELORETTE PARTY
Take charge of choosing date, city, theme, hotel, outfits, etc. Once all the main details are outlined, include the other ladies. Each maid can contribute with decorations, buying champagne, organizing a scavenger hunt, buying a tiara or any other unique touches you want included. I've found that it's fun for the ladies to help out and it bonds everyone together for the big day. Don't try to do it all your self!
5. OFFERING STRESS RELIEF
The month before the wedding can get to be really stressful. It is your job as a MOH to help alleviate the pressure and keep the bride excited for her upcoming nuptials. I suggest you each commit to one hour a week, the month before to do something relaxing with the bride, non-planning related. Take her hiking, to get a mani-pedi, do yoga on the beach, taste a new wine or hang at the dog park. She may be apprehensive, not wanting to waste time, but insist that it will make her feel better and actually more productive.
6. SPENDING HER LAST SINGLE NIGHT TOGETHER
Last May when one of my best friends got married, I stayed with her at her parents house the night before. It was really fun to put together bouquets, drink a few beers, reminisce about our twenty year friendship. Having both of her sisters spend the night with her, just like when you were kids, will most likely be just the comfort she needs to get a good nights rest before the festivities.
7. MORNING OF PRIMPING
Make sure the bride eats, is on time for hair and makeup appointments and doesn't need anything.
Keep the bride's phone and screen her calls for importance.
It's customary for the MOH to give a toast at the reception. You can go about this a few ways...
OPTION A: You both give separate toasts at the reception.
OPTION B: One of you gives a toast at the rehearsal dinner and the other at the reception.
OPTION C: You give the toast together.
This is just a rough draft, but I hope it helps give you an idea of how to split the responsibilities. It's hard to keep tasks exactly even. When one is busy or out of town, the other can pick up her slack and vice versa.
If you work together it will be a fun sister bonding experience.
Have you ever been a Maid of Honor?
Did I leave any important responsibilities out?
Do you have any suggestions for Michaela, Kristin or Janelle?