Today is one of those posts that is real and raw and not too pretty. It is the reason I began blogging in the first place, to cut through the fancy florals and flavor choices to the meat of life, love and traditions.
I have a bride that recently shared that her fiance is "excited to get the old her back". This casual comment made me feel a lot of different things. First, I was sad because I want all brides (and really people in general) to be joyful. Secondly, it made me question my ability as a planner. Was I doing something wrong? Could I have helped her in another way? Was I lacking? Do all couples feel this way with the big day only weeks away?
After a bit of reflection and research I realized YES. Yes a lot of couples feel this way. Almost everyone I spoke to could recall feeling this way. Also, Yes I can help. I can reassure them that everything was going to be fine. I spent the morning coming up with 8 things that could go wrong at any standard wedding, but if they do the world will not end. The moon will hang, the sun will shine, and the two saying "I do" will still love each other. Please take a moment to read my open letter to all engaged couples with a month til their wedding and to verbally read the 8 affirmation points out loud. Claim your happiness. It may just make you feel like your old self again...
Dear Bride or Groom to Be:
You have done a great job planning your wedding details. I know there is added pressure to have everything perfect because you have invested so much time, energy and money. You are most likely trying to please friends, family and vendors all at the same time. You are at the end of a long journey about to embark on a new one. The goal of this experience is to make a lifelong commitment to the person you love. Be the person they fell in love with. The planning is done. The choices are made. Now let it go. Say these affirmations out loud and claim the power to enjoy your day no matter what obstacles come. It is just one day. Allow yourself to have a lovely time...
If some people don't respond to my RSVP, I will plan for them not coming. If they do, it will be a wonderful surprise, because I will be marrying the person I love.
If people that said they were coming don't show up, I will understand. I will be compassionate to their absence, because I will be marrying the person I love.
If the rain pours, I will get an umbrella. If the sun is too bright, I will put on sunscreen and sunglasses. If the wind is too hard I will weather the storm, because I will be marrying the person I love.
If the wine is turned, we will just drink beer. If the beer runs out we will sip whiskey. If the whiskey runs dry we will shoot tequila. We will cheers, because I will be marrying the person I love.
If the DJ plays the wrong song, we will just try some new dance moves. We will bust a move, because I will be marrying the person I love.
If my bouquet is ruined I will just carry wild flowers from a bush in the yard. I will be beautiful and glowing anyway, because I will be marrying the person I love.
If my family members or bridal party are driving me crazy I will just let them be them. It will give me good stories to tell the grandchildren, because I will be marrying the person I love.
If I get overwhelmed at any point and want to give up, I will simply take a deep breath. I will let it go, because I can't imagine not marrying the person I love.
I hope these affirmations will make you feel more confident and care free. Of course everyone will still have stress and worries, just don't let them cloud your vision of why you are doing this in the first place. Congrats to all of you getting married. I hope it is a happy and joyful experience.